Our paths are typically a winding journey that we didn’t see coming. For Toni Caruso, a career in event planning eventually led to her volunteering for her son’s school and becoming a speaker on stages. Now, Toni helps others share their radiant message from the stage. In today’s episode, Toni joins us to share her journey!
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Meet Toni:
Toni has been an event producer for over 30 years. She has brilliantly managed & successfully organized engaging events small and large for the entertainment, corporate and business-to-business worlds. She has witnessed thousands of speakers step onstage and totally miss the mark. That of course was not their intention, but they failed to engage the audience. Sadly, they were not clear, and their rapport and connection with the audience was just simply ho hum. You do not know, what you do not know.
Biggest Lesson as an Entrepreneur
After producing events for over 30 years, Toni knows a little bit about business and entrepreneurship. One of the greatest lessons she’s learned in that time has been that this isn’t easy, so you have to be self-motivated and driven with a solid community of support.
That group of other entrepreneurs or coaches are truly the voice you need to encourage you to push aside the hesitation and simply ask why not me? They will help you recognize that you are worth it. At the end of the day, no matter where you come from, you have to, inside yourself, believe in who you are, and what you can do.
Favorite Childhood Memory
Toni’s mother was a nightclub singer, so that’s what she wanted to be. She was told that she wasn’t tall enough and didn’t have the voice to sing for a career—Toni didn’t let those negative messages impact her. While she actually can’t sing, she remembers twirling around in the living room while the family was watching TV, because she wanted to be on stage. Now as an adult who speaks on stage, she attributes it to that little girl who wanted the attention of those around her.
Work/Life Harmony
By the time marriage and children came into the picture, Toni had already built a successful career. In getting married at 41, she did struggle to get pregnant. After spending $30k to get pregnant, she became a stay-at-home mom to spend all of her time with this baby. Moving that event-minded person into a stay-at-home role, she naturally took on the roles at school for organizing events and heading up the fundraisers.
Once her son hit middle school, he confronted her by asking her to stop volunteering because she was more popular than him. That’s when she looked into entrepreneurship. She loved events, so she started doing them for small businesses.
Allowing Radiant Soul Shine
Prior to COVID, Toni was always working. She did prioritize dinners with her family and all of the games her son was a part of. When COVID hit, her business tanked, she felt isolated, and didn’t take care of herself. Once she met Sandra Yancey, the founder of E-Women Network, her world changed. She started a coaching program, started taking care of her health, and overall built a life that allowed her radiant soul to shine. Through that process, she began setting boundaries and being family oriented outside of her business hours.
Final Advice
Do what you love for your career. If there is something you love to do, that the world needs as a product or a mission, find a community who supports you. If you believe in it hard enough, keep moving forward.
Connect with Toni:
https://www.ewomennetwork.com/speaker/homepage
https://www.ewomennetwork.com/speakers/toni-caruso-31076
Email: to********@ew***********.com
Review the Transcript:
Susan Crews
Are you dreaming of having the time and energy to create a life you love? Is your calendar full of events? And you’re thinking, there’s no time for me? Do you look like you have it all together on the outside, but on the inside of your a hot mess? You are frustrated and tired all the time. Susan Cruz shines the light on successful women and a few men who have busted the exhaustion cycle by prioritizing herself, released any guilt and have found inner peace while creating a life they love filled with harmony. Join Susan’s candid conversations to learn how these successful women illuminated their inner life to create a radiant life. Welcome to the radiant soul sisters.
Susan Crews
Oh listeners, I am so excited today because I have Toni caruso here with me on this episode. I met Toni through E women network. And she is one of those women that when you are in her presence, number one, you can feel her excitement and her energy. You can also see it in her eyes and her beautiful smile. Tiny welcome.
Toni Caruso
Well, thank you so much. That was quite the introduction. I didn’t know I had that kind of energy. So it makes me feel happy.
Susan Crews
You do have that kind of energy. Toni, you know, I remember meeting you and you know us we’re stepping into a position with E women network. So you know a lot of women because you’ve been involved with this group for a while, whereas I’m a new kid on the block. I’ve only been here about a year, year and a half. And so I was meaning people and able to remember, but you know, not everybody I’ve met has connected but I just I remember the sparkle in your eyes. And just the way that you made me feel welcome in that moment. You know, you had time to chat for briefly, but we chatted briefly. And that’s what we needed, or either one of us at that point in time or had time for. So it was lovely. And I appreciate that. You know, listeners, Toni has been an event producer for over 30 years, and she has heard a lot of people speak. And she Yeah, I can only imagine producing events for 30 years, you’ve heard 1000s of people speak. And I’m sure you’ve heard some incredible speeches that you’ve never forgotten, had major takeaway points. And then I’m sure you’ve heard some that you’re like, oh, they totally missed the mark. Right. So now you’re leaving us at E women as the leader of the E women’s speakers network. And I just think that’s a wonderful thing for you, for e women and for all of us who are choosing to be a part. So Toni 30 years of experience, you know, wow, there got to be some big lessons that you learned. What are some of the lessons you learned being an entrepreneur?
Toni Caruso
That number one comes to mind? Yeah, it is not easy. You have to be very self motivated and mission driven. And you have to have people around you who support you in your mission or your dream. I don’t think I could have done this without having the coaches in my life that have seen in me a bigger vision that I could even see for myself, and having a husband and a family who supported me on the back end and said, you know, go for it. We’re behind you. What do you need? Instead of I know, I hear a lot of women talk about, oh, I’ve got this idea. And that husband’s like, really, you can’t do that, you know, stick with the job stick with a nine to five, or who do you think you are? Or it’s the voice in our head that family has put there over the years and growing up that we’re not good enough? We’re not going to be able to succeed? Why should we try? Why us? And I believe that, you know, we should always say why not me?
Susan Crews
Exactly. You know, when we when we really get the voices out of our head, like you said, and when we have the support group. Another thing that you you mentioned was coaches. You know, I learned very early on in my first business that I needed a coach and I remember telling Jimmy I was gonna hire a coach and he’s like, what, why are you gonna do that? And I’m like, Well, I don’t I hear this. This coach is really great. And she can help with sales and I’m gonna give it a try. And he was supportive, didn’t understand it, but supportive, right? And I said, just I tell you what, just let’s see what happens. But I believe we’re going to watch my business soar. And it was really amazing because coaches can see in us what we can’t see our brides.
Toni Caruso
Right. The other
Susan Crews
thing that I think coaches and supportive people help us to understand is that you are worth it.
Toni Caruso
Correct? Correct. You
Susan Crews
are worth it, I am worth it. I am worth being out there and getting paid to do the thing that I want to do, right?
Toni Caruso
Correct. I was told by my mother, I mean, she came from a different era. But your ideal job was to be a secretary, and marry your boss, or be an airline stewardess and marry the pilot. I mean, that was in her life. That was your goal as a woman. And so I learned everything secretarial, I can type like crazy. And I can take shorthand, everything to this day. And then I’d start working, and I get these jobs. And I’m working in corporate, but I’m working for women. And I think that is what kind of switched it in my mind. Like, I don’t have to be the support, I can be the boss. And she kept wondering about me, because I wasn’t getting married, and I wasn’t getting married, you know. And I said, you know, maybe by 35, I’ll just have a baby because I hadn’t gotten married. I mean, I didn’t get married till I was 41 years old. Because all of a sudden, I had this career, and I was doing something that I absolutely loved. And I saw that there was a bigger thing for me. And then it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. But I believe that no matter where you come from, you have to inside yourself, believe in who you are, and what you can do. And you have to be your own biggest cheerleader. Because if you’re not cheering for yourself, nobody else is gonna
Susan Crews
know that you’re so right there. And I think Toni, a lot of women our age or in within our age group, you know, we were raised by parents who believe that you either were the Secretary, or you went to college, and you got the nine to five job. You know, it’s very interesting. Both of my parents are entrepreneurs. My dad, dad and his own business, mom ended up working for him after being in another business. But yet, for me personally, it was like your you need to go to college. And this is the kind of job you need to get. And when I went to college and said, Oh, I’m going to major in food service management, he’s like, No, you’re not, you got to have a business degree. Well, I wanted to be in the food service industry. So So I said, Okay, I’ll double major. But finding the way to believe in yourself is, is key. And I think that’s where support groups, coaches, and the people you surround yourself with, are so important. You know, you talk about your parents and your mom and what they said, Toni, I always like to know, how people are what has created, this person or this woman that I’m talking to in our childhood memories often helped to develop us into who we are, do you have a favorite childhood memory?
Toni Caruso
I think that if you’re talking and who developed to who I am, my mother was a nightclub singer. She had a beautiful voice and she sang with the big bands. And I always wanted to be a singer and an entertainer and a dancer. And my mother always said, you know, your voice isn’t good enough, you know, and you’re not tall enough like a rock hat to be a dancer. So I had those messages going through my head. But I used to stand in front of the television, on my toes, because I thought that’s what ballet dancers were actually on their toes. And I’d put my hands up and appear wet. And I twirl around and the family just like could you please just sit down, you know, and I’d be in front of the TV just to get their attention. So for some childhood, I wanted to be on stage. And to be now as an adult, teaching people to be on stage and to love being in front of a group with a microphone. I may not be singing and I may not be dancing, but I’m still on the stage. So I think a lot of that comes from that need of a young girl who just wanted wanted to be up and to be a singer like her mom, you know, that
Susan Crews
is so cool. And you know, it also goes to the point that there are ways to do what we want to do, but just maybe not how we see it. Right? Right. You were seeing being the singer the dancer, but you ended up finding the way to do it that has not only impacted your life but has impacted and 1000s of other people
Toni Caruso
well, and to be honest, I don’t sing well. So if I would have gone down that I would have failed, I would have failed as a singer. And as a dancer, I didn’t have the, the ballet and all those technical things, I took dance, I might I minored in dance in college, because I didn’t get to dance when I was a kid, but I was going to do it in college, you know, but I was never at a level because I didn’t start young enough and, and understand. And at that time, it wasn’t like, you could go and get on YouTube, you know, and dance and become a dancer. You know, at that time, it was ballet and jazz. And you know, jazz hands the whole bit. So I started later. And so it wasn’t like that was going to be a path for me anyway. Right. But I found my own path to what I love doing is being in front of an audience. And it’s not an ego thing in front of an audience. But there’s an energy in it. And it’s, I enjoy hosting events and getting people on stage and inspiring an audience and getting them to get out of their little box in their head and try something new. So you know, my bit nine, I’d be doing it through music, but I’m doing it through events.
Susan Crews
That’s awesome. That’s awesome. And you do it? Well. You know, Toni, you mentioned that you were older. When you well, in society’s eyes, I should say you were older, you were 41 when you got married. And you know, I can imagine that you had built your career, right? You were already super successful, then you fall in love, and you also had a child, and you’ve got this super successful career going on. There can be a lot of tension in that, or a lot of pull in that. What I like to think of it instead of balance, like work life harmony, that our life is this beautiful symphony, right. And we play all these different instruments. Some were playing harder than others at different times. But But we’ve always got this harmony and we want it to come back to be beautiful. What what are the things that you did or you do to maintain that work life harmony?
Toni Caruso
Well, to be honest, I got married at 41 and had difficulty having a child at that age. So had to go through the whole in vitro donor eggs, the whole process. So it was a very psychological process. So that when I did get pregnant at 43, I was working and doing over 300 events a year for the company I was working for. And I knew I couldn’t keep that up. And I didn’t want my child to be in daycare for 12 hours a day, we just spent $30,000 To have this baby, I wanted to spend time with him. So I became a stay at home mom, and you take an event person and a career person and you put them in the house to be a mom, you’re gonna go crazy. So I then became the Uber, chair of the preschool fundraiser, and the jog Athan and elementary school, then the PTA president. And I was you know, making money for all the school projects. And I was I was everywhere doing everything till my son became 13 lol What 10 When you go into middle school 1011. And he told me said Mom, can you please stop doing things at school? You’re more popular than I am. And I went, Oh my gosh. So that’s when I looked into an entrepreneurial thing before that I worked corporate. So it forced me to try and find out. Alright, what can I do? I love doing events. I’ve been doing them for the schools. I’ve been doing them for all the businesses I had, why not do them for entrepreneurs and small business owners. So that’s when everything kind of switched. And I started Caruso signature events. And that took off. And that became something that I never knew I could do on my own. But I built my own business.
Susan Crews
Yeah. Wow. You know, it’s interesting, you stopped getting paid to put on events. However, when your son hit school age, you are putting on event? Yeah, you know, and that’s how you were getting that need fulfilled. It sounds like
Toni Caruso
Oh, absolutely. I mean, we had a jog Athan when he was five years old. And I went to it. And I looked at I’m like, What are they doing? This is like, nothing. There’s no balloons, there’s no nothing, you know, and they made $8,000. And they were excited. I took it over. And that first year I made $45,000 for the spool. And they were like we are all in Toni, what else do you want to do? So it’s, but it’s like, you know, taking your expertise and doing something you love. And I loved organizing. And so my son had the most major birthday parties. I mean, I was over the top, but it was not because I was trying to go ooh, look at me Look at me. It was just because it was fun to do. And I missed it so much in business that I was like it was my outlet in my personal life?
Susan Crews
Absolutely. Absolutely. I can imagine they were some super fun birthday parties to you know, not only did they look good, they were fun with that. Yeah. So that’s cool. You know, to be able to maintain a business, run a business, and to be able to have work life harmony, and to do all the things, be the wife, be the mom, be the business owner do this. There’s certain things that we have to do to take care of ourselves so that our radiant souls will shine. And what are what are some of the things that you do? For years,
Toni Caruso
I would say before COVID, I was crazy, working all hours, we always made sure that we had dinner together. As a family, the three of us we sat down to dinner. And I was very active in my son’s when he was in high school football. And so always made sure that I was at every football game, and we were supported. And I did my business that way. Physically, maybe I didn’t take care of myself as well. I was taking care of everybody else. And then COVID head and my in my event business, you know, tank, there were no events, no man. So I was pretty. That was a tough year for me. And I know it was for everyone. So I’m not putting that aside, but for me personally, the isolation and not being able to get in a room with people and not having money coming in. I kind of lost who I was and what was going on. I sat on the couch, drink wine and eat chips, chips and salsa. So you know, self care was not at the top on the list. And then I kind of turned everything around. I got in front of Sandra Yancey, and I got a one on one with her as the founder of EA women network. And she coached me and she brought out in me business that I was doing on the side, which was teaching speakers the business of speaking as an event planner that you know, that’s my genius. So I started the Academy for speakers. And I started a coaching program. And that got me started. And I learned that you know, I can’t be sitting in front of a computer 12 hours a day, I have to get up, I gotta get moving, I’ve got to start eating right. So I had to force myself into taking care of me, personally. And I learned through that whole process that I literally close the computer at five, six o’clock, and I go out and I go in the other room and we have dinner, and we have a life and I sit with my husband, and my weekends are free. I’m now more family oriented. And work is what I do Monday through Friday, but not in the evenings and not on the weekends. Unless it’s you know, there’s an event or something and it’s special. But I’ve had to literally tell myself, alright, close the computer, you’re done for the day. These things can wait till tomorrow.
Susan Crews
Yep. Thank you for your truthfulness and your vulnerability there.
Susan Crews
You know, when you first started talking about COVID, you know, in the beginning, you would sit and drink wine and eat chips. And it brought to mind immediately Sara Blakely. She was so funny, because she said, we’re going to come out of COVID. And you’re going to be a chunk a hunk or drunk, because you’re going to be a chunk because you eat too much. You’re going to be a hunk because you’re working out too much. Or excess. Yeah, we’re going to be a drunk and in there’s so much truth in that, you know, you’re the type of person that needs the energy of other people and the events. Well, I’m an Enneagram to a nurturer, right. I didn’t have people to nurture because I couldn’t be around people in a difficult time. So I really appreciate that. And I love the fact that you made the decision coming out. Now I’ve got to take care of myself. Right? It takes a lot of energy to run an event,
Toni Caruso
right? Well and physically and as I’ve gotten older, like right now I’m sitting here with my knee is in pain. I’ve had some knee problems, and I can’t wear high heels and walk around. I mean, I used to do events, and they’d be 12 hour days in forehand chills, you know, now it’s like, oh, my gosh, I look at those heels. And I think I should just give those away. I’m never getting into them again. You know, it’s like, we’ve got to make these and you wonder why you looked at the old ladies and they’re wearing the flat shoes. I’m now become the old lady with the flat shoes. But it’s physically you can’t do it. And you have to understand that there are limitations to your body. And if you don’t take care of it and see those things like My knee hurts. So now I’ll be icing it and I’ve been working out on a different machine that doesn’t use my knees as much, you know, in the way that it has trying to strengthen them up because I’m getting into 2023 and I have three large events going on. I need to make sure that I’m healthy for those.
Susan Crews
That’s right. That’s right. Well, self care. It’s one of those things that is for sale. For many of us, we think it’s selfish. And we’re like, How can I take an hour of time to do this for me? When really? How can you not take that hour of time? And I have written that diet exercise physically fit roller coaster? Most of my life?
Toni Caruso
I don’t know, I don’t know any woman who hasn’t. I mean, let’s be honest, you know, we all there are times that it’s like, oh my gosh, what am I doing with myself? And the other times I’m like, I am hot, I look good. And this, you know, and it’s like, you just could, like, you know, stay in that mindset, you know, and say, I look good in this no matter what you put on, you know,
Susan Crews
right? That’s right. Oh my goodness. Well, I’ve already learned a lot from you, Toni. And I’m enjoying talking with you. But you know, listeners that this episode has you thinking about how to put yourself first or the changes you might need to make to put yourself first and live your life on purpose while achieving work life harmony. Be sure to connect with me at Susan cruise comm or reach out at Susan cruise co.com. Toni, what gift or what have you brought for our listeners? How can they connect with you? Well,
Toni Caruso
basically, I am at E women network. So if you would like to get on stage, because let me tell you, it’s the fastest way to grow your business is to be a speaker, I would love to connect with you. So you can go to Toni caruso at E women network.com and just shoot me an email. Or you can go to E women network.com. And look for the E women speakers network and learn more about what we’re doing there. I think we have some really great things coming up. We have three workshops, we’re traveling throughout the country. And so it’s a way for you to connect and and learn and how you can build your business just being the spokesperson for you and your mission. Because there’s somebody out there that just waiting to hear what you have to say, Oh,
Susan Crews
that was also a hard lesson for me. Because I’ll hear someone speak or I’ll read a book. And I’m like, oh, that’s exactly what I would say. But what I have learned, and I’m super excited about coming to your events, and and becoming even a better speaker is the way that I share my message, there’s going to be someone who will hear it from me that wouldn’t hear it from you, or someone else. And we can even use the exact same words.
Toni Caruso
Exactly, exactly that your journey. Your journey is different from everyone else’s journey. Your mission is different from everyone else’s. So if I’m in the audience, and I went, you know, if I was in the audience, and I’m going through a horrible divorce, and so a woman gets up there and starts talking and she’s perfect, and she’s beautiful. And she’s talking about how she helps women through divorce. And you find out that she’s happily married and never been through a divorce. How can I you know, how can you know what I’m feeling and what I’m going through. But you get, you get a speaker up there who’s vulnerable. And she’s like, you know, I came home, and the locks on the doors were changed. Everything that I owned, it was inside this house. And I couldn’t get into get it, because he has now got his little Secretary living in there. And he’s left me aside now that somebody is going to understand what I’ve been through.
Susan Crews
Exactly, exactly that connection there. So the speaking events you mentioned, you’ve got several coming up, you want to tell our listeners where they’re going to be.
Toni Caruso
If you’re in Orange County, California, that is an April 28 and 29th. And there are two days. But what’s really cool is the second day, we’re doing North America’s next greatest speaker contest. So if you are a speaker, and you would like to be in that contest, go to speak phenomics it’s speak Oh nomics.net. And you can apply to be in the contest, because it’s going to be really fun.
Susan Crews
I think it’ll be a lot of fun too. And all of that information will be in the show notes. So our listeners will be able to to get that. So Toni, if there was one big tip or one piece of advice that you could leave our listeners with today, what would be that one suggestion you’d give?
Toni Caruso
I would just say, do what you love. Now, if what you love is crocheting that hats, you might have to like, that’s something you do on the side. That’s a hobby. But if you’re sitting and you’re wondering, you know, did I choose the right thing? Am I going the right direction, if it’s something you love to do, and it’s something you feel the world needs to either have as a product or here as a mission, then just keep going through it and find the people to put around you that support you and believe in you and stay away from the naysayers. If people are telling you you’re not good enough, then that’s never going to work. Those are the people you don’t want in your life if you believe in it hard enough. And you really believe the world needs to hear it or habit. Just keep going moving forward. entrepreneurial business is one of the hardest things you You can do, anybody can get a nine to five. But our entrepreneurs work 24 hours a day, 265 days a week, but we love it. And we’re never tired of it.
Susan Crews
Absolutely. And you know, you hit the nail on the head because I think entrepreneurial world can be so lonely. Yes, yes. You do not find your community. And when you find your community, you all live in abundance,
Toni Caruso
instead of better. That was beautiful. Oh,
Susan Crews
thank you. Thank you so much. listeners. I hope you’ve enjoyed today and my conversation with Toni caruso. Next week, I will shine the light on another radiant soul sister. Till then I’m Susan cruise, your host and you can find all the resources at Susan cruise co.com That was a fun episode of the radiant soul sisters. Thank you for choosing to tune in. Be sure to join me next week when I shine the light on another beautiful woman. Till then I’m Susan cruise, your host and be sure to check out my website at Susan cruise co.com where you will find all the podcast episodes and resources for our community.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
