Welcome to the Radiant Soul Sisters Podcast!
Episode #16
Today my guest is Scarlett De Bease, Personal Stylist & Author, Stop Stressing About Dressing
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If you want to read the transcript, check it out below:
Susan
I am so excited to have with us today, my friend and radiant soul sister Scarlett De Bease. I’d like to tell you a story about Scarlett. I actually saw Scarlett on the Better Than Gossip Network in one of the shows she had recorded for this streaming network. And I thought to myself, I really would like to get to know Scarlett, but then I didn’t do anything about it. Fast forward several months, and I am in a Driven Business School event and I see Scarlett. I’m like wait, this is my Scarlett. This is who I wanted to reach out to. But I wasn’t 100% sure. So, I went back and watched another episode. And I’m like, Yes, this is Scarlett De Bease. And I can’t wait to connect with her. And I started connecting on Facebook and we have shared several different conversations which have been so much fun. Scarlett is a personal wardrobe stylist and the author of Stop Stressing About Dressing. She shows women entrepreneurs how to create fabulous customized outfits, regardless of your size, age, or shape. So they can show up to anything on their calendar with absolute confidence. Her clients feel fearless and confident and get to be seen and heard. So my goodness, Scarlett, I’m so glad we’re here together on this episode.
Scarlett
I’m here, meant to be.
Susan
Yes, yes, yes. Scarlett, you know there’s one thing I love to do is I’d love to get to know people and hear stories of their childhood. And can you tell us what is one of your favorite stories from your childhood?
Scarlett
So my parents were from Europe, so I was the American. So we celebrated Christmas differently. We celebrated on Christmas Eve. And I grew up in an apartment, there was no chimney, there was no fireplace. So, Santa couldn’t come down the chimney. So every Christmas Eve, I was told to take a nap before it was time to eat and have presents. So I went in my room, very excited. And I went to take a nap. But of course I really wasn’t sleeping. And I remember like lying in bed and just waiting and waiting and waiting. And you know, hoping I could hear that Santa was coming. And then I hear the doorbell. I hear the door open up but I’m not allowed to go out of my room. And I’m thinking what to do. And I hear my mother saying thank you, Santa, thank you. And I come running out of our room because I can’t stand it anymore and she closes the door. And there are all the presents she was like, just missed him.
Susan
I love that story.
Scarlett
A for effort on her part.
Susan
Absolutely. I absolutely love that story. And I can just see you sitting in your bedroom listening for that doorbell to ring like we used to lay in our bed and listen to hear the hooves on the rooftop, right? Oh, what a super fun story. Thank you for sharing that with us. Scarlett, you know you are in the fashion industry and in your job, your mission, your excitement is about helping women to feel their best and to look their best no matter what. And you are an entrepreneur as well, because you are doing this as your goal and your focus. So tell me, what is the biggest lesson you have learned about yourself and being an entrepreneur?
Scarlett
Oh, easily not to try to do it all yourself. I, you know, when I became an image consulting, personal wardrobe stylist, I did it because another image consultant who I had seen years ago told me, you know, you’d be good at this, you should be doing this. So what I did was I took some classes, I took actually a lot of classes, you don’t have to but I decided to and I got business cards. And I thought that’s what you do. And then you wait. And you wait, and you wait. And then you realize that unless you get out there and network. Unless you know what the hell you’re doing, meaning where do you network? What do you say? How do you get speaking gigs and basically, it wasn’t until one of my best and first clients was a speaker and coach herself. I attended one of her events, she loved what I was wearing, she loved the fact that I sent her a thank you note. And back and it still matters to do that. And she’s the one that said to me, you have to be networking, you have to be getting out there. And then and then I didn’t know, I just didn’t know. Because we used to think if you had a card, and you gave it to somebody that meant you were in business. So you put the shingle out if you had a store, and it doesn’t work that way. And the best decision I ever made, was hiring a coach. I did hire her and I’ve hired many since then. But I got better and better and better at listening to them and investing more heavily into my business. So thinking you can do it. And my clients too, they all think they could do it on their own until one day they realize I’m just tired of guessing. I’m just tired of trying. I’m just tired of buying more clothes and still not knowing what to wear. So don’t try to do things yourself because you’re just going to waste time.
Susan
Absolutely. I think there are a couple of things there that I hear you saying, you know, yes, don’t do it by yourself. But also find yourself a coach or a mentor. Because you can, it will fast track you in success. I believe that 100%.
Scarlett
Let me say this very same coach, she had a mastermind group that she invited me to years later. And in that mastermind group, I said this is eleven years ago, I said you know I’m getting a little burned out, driving back and forth to the stores or to my clients homes, working three, four or five hours with them coming home, little kids, I was really getting burnt out. So she said why don’t you work virtually? And I went that’s ridiculous. That’s insane. But you do what you have to do in a mastermind group. In that year, it was already 50% of my business. And that was 11 years ago. So when the whole world went virtual three years ago, I’d already been doing it for eight years. I did the math right. So that’s what happens when you listen to somebody else.
Susan
Oh, Scarlett, that is such a great point. Because actually on… don’t know what episode it is. But I was talking with another coach. And she said that, you know, her husband had told her she was going to have to go back to work, because her coaching business just wasn’t making the income that they were used to. And so she said to her coach, what do I do? You know, I’m doing all the things that I think are the right things to do. And her coach said double your price. She was like what? You know, how can I double my price when I don’t have many clients? She said you asked me what to do. She doubled her price and ended up doubling her business that you’re not because of the price doubling the number of clients because people started seeing it for value. So our coaches can see things in us that we can’t see. Or give us ideas that we would have never – would you have ever thought of going virtual eight years ago?
Scarlett
Never. Because I was like, how can that, how is that possible with clothing? How is that possible? Ended up being very possible and actually very popular. You know, when you listen to somebody else, whether it’s me helping somebody know what to wear you for coaching, you take people out of their comfort zone. And the comfort zone isn’t always the best place to be. It might be easy, but it’s not necessarily the best thing for us or for our business or our personal life.
Susan
Right, absolutely. Yes. And I love that our business and our personal life, you know? So, Scarlett, why is it that some women would choose to hire you, a wardrobe stylist, and other women might not?
Scarlett
There’s a number of reasons. A lot of women come to me, typically after 40, 50, where they say, I’m just tired of trying to do this on my own. I’m tired of guessing. I’m tired of being in a room and looking around and always feeling like I’m the worst dressed person in the room. But up until that point, they keep thinking, well, if I lose some weight, it’s all going to be great, everything’s gonna be wonderful. And sometimes they do lose the weight. And sometimes they don’t. But if you don’t know what’s right for you, no matter what your size, size to 2, 22, 12, whatever. If you don’t know what’s right for you, you’re gonna keep spending money on clothes, you don’t like you’re gonna start getting frustrated. So women when they reach milestones, 40, 50, 60, 70, that’s when they start to say, if not now, when? Yes, and so I have women who hired me maybe five years after they first talked to me, you know, but those five years was a wasted amount of time that they could have had more self confidence, and could’ve saved a lot of money. Because women we buy, buy, buy and buy, it doesn’t mean we have more to wear.
Susan
I was gonna say that finding a wardrobe stylist can save you so much money. And I have learned, for example, I have Huntsboro Hemp Company and that company, our colors are very earth toned. Well, I normally wear very bright colors. And my coaching business Susan Crews and Company is very bright colored, right, which is more my style. So I had to learn how to buy to have the right clothes to be the brand. And I think that’s often times where a wardrobe stylist can help you. You know, and if you’re not an entrepreneur or in business, even if it’s in your personal life, you can find the right colors, styles, links, everything. I know that’s one of the things you help women with. So that they can feel like a million bucks.
Scarlett
Yeah, I mean, I have women, I’ve had women hire me because they heard what they were saying out loud, and their daughters were hearing it. It wasn’t a positive message. I’m too fat, nothing works for me. And then they would hear their daughters start to repeat it. And a lot of women went, oh my god, I don’t want that for her. That was an interesting one. I have a lot of women who are going back to the dating world. They’re not the same age they were when they first started dating. So that’s the whole other thing that’s weighing on them, and they want to look good, but they don’t want to look like they’re trying to look young.
You know, so it’s all about transitions in your life. You know, and you can go to the next level in your life when you spend the time and the energy on making yourself have more self confidence. Everything comes back to confidence. And when you wear clothes that fit you properly or right for your proportions, your features, you actually literally will start standing taller. And when you go into a room especially if you’re in business, you can focus on what you’re saying and what you’re talking about your business and not think about is this going to work, is this a set. You know, is someone looking at me funny or I don’t know I’m uncomfortable or worse, not even going out. A lot of women have told me they, you know, before they knew what to wear, we come up with stomach bugs or headaches, slow down invitations to speak, in network, weddings, husband’s parties. I mean yeah, we come up with all these reasons not to do something because we’re insecure. But the answer is really reach out. There are people who can help you. Not the sales person in the store who gets commission. Just a note, I always tell somebody when they try something on, their reaction has to be I like it. And not the sales person, not their best friend, not even their spouse, just not even me it was you say to yourself, and if your first reaction is, wow, I look good. As opposed to well, if I lose some weight first, would be if I get the shoes and the Spanx. Whenever your first reaction is like this, then that’s what you should be buying and wearing.
Susan
What a great, great tip. And, you know, I’d like for our listeners to hear one thing that you’re saying not necessarily in words, but I hear it. It’s not necessarily about having more clothes. It’s about having the right clothes. And when you have a stylist, such as Scarlett, you also have more options with fewer clothes, because she’s going to help you learn how to mix and match.
Scarlett
Exactly, you know, all my clients have fewer clothes in their closet than they did before they worked with me. But they have more outfits than they had before.
Susan
There you go. Those were the words I was looking for. Exactly. Scarlett, exactly. So Scarlett, I know you’re busy, you’re a mom, and you’re a business owner and it’s important that you look nice in the way that you present yourself as well. What do you do or what have you learned about work life harmony, how to have that harmony between all the different hats we wear?
Scarlett
Well, you know, part of the reason why I started my own business was because I didn’t want to be just mom. I also have a child with disabilities, I didn’t want that to be the whole focus all the time. Because it just sucks the life out of you. So what I do is I have some boundaries, I have some guidelines, you know, I have a do not disturb sign on my office door. And when that’s on that door, and it’s closed, it means do not disturb. You know, there is that. I have a husband who’s very supportive, and he’s become a great cook. So that has helped save some time. For me, that makes a difference. And so basically, I just really work really hard at my business, so that I can take the nights off and I can have the weekends. I work too, believe me, but I can do that so everyone gets a little something from me. But I do focus a lot on my job because it is what fuels me and it makes me feel good. And helping women feel good about themselves makes me feel better about myself too.
Susan
And I’m hearing that you do, you work your business, you love your business, you enjoy and find joy in helping other women feel confident as they go out into their world. But I’m also hearing that you have time for yourself or your family in your days or in your weekends. And that is one of the things that helps to bring that work life harmony.
Scarlett
Yeah, absolutely. You know, I’ll tell you that you know, when I work, I get dressed every day I put on makeup every day. And so maybe that takes you know, 20 minutes extra out of my time. But I took care of me. If you don’t take a little time to put something on that makes you feel, look good. If the doorbell rings, you’re not going to run for the hills, dive under the couch. It changes how you feel about yourself. And then when you feel better about yourself. You have a little bit more patience for the other people in your life.
Susan
Absolutely. That’s a great point. You’re right, confidence and how we feel comes out in everything we do every day. Absolutely every single day. So tell me, obviously I could tell you have great energy, your smile lights up a room for our listeners who cannot see you. What do you do every day or often to take care of your radiant soul?
Scarlett
If I have time in the morning and I make the time almost every day, I love getting up in the morning and getting a cup of coffee. Crawling back into bed with my computer doing Wordle. I just love it.
Susan
You know if that’s what you love, and that is a great way to start your day. What a gift to yourself right?
Scarlett
To me coffee in bed reminds me of being on vacation.
Susan
Oh there you go helping with that mindset. So tell you I don’t get back in bed but Jimmy teases me. He says, Susan, you get up to sit. And I’m like, yeah, kind of pretty much what I do I get up to sit. I get up, I get my coffee or my tea and I sit. I might sit there and do nothing but have a candle lit, or I might meditate, or I might journal. But I get up to sit and such a great way. Well, I will. I will always think about that and think of you with your coffee in bed dreaming a vacation and doing Wordle. Wordle keeps your mind sharp. Love it. Love it. Love it. Oh, thank you so much for being here today. And I’ve got one question left for you. But before we get to that, I know that you brought a gift or something for our listeners. Will you share that with them?
Scarlett
Yes, yes, it’s five videos, a video a day, very short that will help you and your closet shame. The tips will help you break up with the clothes that are doing you wrong. Like the pants that are holding too tight the tops that maybe cling on to you too much like a toddler does to their mom. You know the things that are in your closet that when you look at them, you don’t wear them or when you put them on, they make you feel bad, but you’re not quite sure why. These tips will help you identify the things that are in your closet that you simply need to break up with, you need to send away.
Susan
I love that. I love that for two reasons. We do have to break up with clothes sometimes because they have meaning or bring back a memory. So I love that. And number two, when you reduce clutter, when you have stuff sitting around hanging around, that clutter also goes with you. So I love that. Listeners, I am going to be watching and getting these five videos. I cannot wait to see them. We will put in the show notes the link so you can go to Scarlett’s website and grab these five videos for you as well. That is awesome. So if this episode has you thinking about how to put yourself first while living your life on purpose, and creating work life harmony, be sure to connect with me on my socials @SusanCrewsCo. If you’d like to reach out for a time to chat, go to my website, SusanCrewsCo.com. And you will find the place to schedule a time for us to get to know each other.
All right, Scarlett, I have learned some great tips here today. But before we leave, what is one thing that you would like to leave our listeners with? Anything, it can be about being an entrepreneur, about confidence, or about seeking work life harmony?
Scarlett
I would say stop putting yourself second, third, or last. You know, so you know when you take care of you, ou’ve heard this before when you take care of you. You’re helping the you know the whole oxygen mask thing then you are helping taking care of everybody else around you. And you’re setting a good example. By constantly saying tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, which we don’t know if it’ll come and we’re only going to be older. We’re always going to have regret that why didn’t we do something sooner. So I say take a picture of yourself in any way possible. Now, because you’ll reap the benefits and you’re going to you can have just a better attitude and feel better about yourself.
Susan
I agree with you 100% and that is amazing advice. Thank you again for being here today with me, Scarlett and everyone, hope you have enjoyed another episode of the radiant soul sisters. Join us next time when we’ll shine the light on another radiant soul sister on her path to living a life she loves while creating work life harmony. Till then I’m Susan Crews, your host and you can find all of our episodes, resources, and community on my website at SusanCrewsCo.com.
