Welcome to the Radiant Soul Sisters Podcast!
Episode #6
Today my guest is Melissa Ternes, Founder, Master Your Money Now
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If you want to read the transcript, check it out below:
Susan
I am so excited to be here today with my dear friend Melissa Ternes. Melissa is a money guru. She is radiant and shining in so many ways. And I am just thrilled to call her friend and share her here with you today. Melissa thank you so much for joining us. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Melissa
Yes I can and I’m so glad to be here with you. I love money and talking about money and walking people through all the different pieces of money. And I do it by blending the science of behavior, emotions, your personal history with money and practical strategies. So in a nutshell, that’s it.
Susan
Yes. So I didn’t share listeners that I reconnected with Melissa at the very beginning of COVID and she has an awesome book. And we went through a book club and we went through first. Oh my gosh, help a soul sister out. Think and Grow Rich For Women, we went through that book first. And after reading that book, as a group, we decided to do Melissa’s book together as a group. And it was so enlightening and really brought to my attention some areas where I was spending money for the different reasons or the wrong reasons. And areas where I might have been hoarding money for the wrong reason as well. Right? We want to be balanced there. We want money to flow. And it’s energy, I believe, right? So, Melissa’s program, Master Your Money Now, was fabulous. And I know she’s even leveled it up even more. But Melissa, I have a question for you. Because as an entrepreneur, what is the biggest lesson you have learned about yourself?
Melissa
About myself? I have learned that just because I can do something for someone else doesn’t mean I can do it for myself. Ah, tell me more. Right? That’s the place where I realized, okay, I can do this. That’s how I got into doing what I do. I could manage money for someone else. I was managing a $50 million budget at work, and I couldn’t manage my own. And that’s where I started to see. You know, the biggest thing I’ve learned is, we can’t see the things we can’t see for ourselves. And so there are times that we need to bring our radiant sisters in to help us walk through whatever it is because if we could see it we could do it. If we knew how to walk through it we could and sometimes we just need people to kind of come grab our hand and walk through life together.
Susan
Absolutely. So it’s very interesting that you say that. Years and years ago, when I was in a direct sales company I had my first business coach, this was back in the 90’s right before coaching was really a thing. And I even remember Jimmy going you’re hiring what huh? Why would you spend that money? Yeah. And as I worked with Reggie, I really met lots of goals that I was striving to meet. So I learned in the 90s how important a coach was right. But then I didn’t use a coach for years and years and years. And when I was 46, I too realized that I had a terrible relationship with money. And that I wasn’t where I wanted to be at that age with money. But why right, why? And so I hired a money coach, and this was before you and I knew each other, right? And when you learn your relationship with money, and why you do the things you do, it changes everything. Right. So having a coach, I couldn’t see it for myself. You know, I couldn’t figure these things out. And I’m a coach, right? How crazy but coaches need coaches to help bring things to life. So I agree 100% with you, 100%. You know, now that you have coaches.
Melissa
I do. Nothing frustrates me more than when I’m on a call with my coach and they told me something that I just told one of my clients, you know, like that morning. I’m like, but I know this I just, you know – it now tickles me. It’s not a matter of knowing it. It’s a matter of being able to, like incorporate that into that particular moment of your life. And the bigger thing that I know is you have physiology, we have brain patterns, we have emotions that are all that swirling around what we know. And it impacts our ability to do the things that we know because our brain is there trying to keep us safe. All of these things are going on. And it’s like, oh okay mhmm yup.
Susan
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know, I am there with you. Sometimes, like one of my coaches will say something, I’m like,what, wait, I just shared that that’s a conversation I just had with a client. And what I think I find, or what I’m finding is that oftentimes you bring the clients into your world that you’re working on that space as well. And anyway, so it’s just fascinating, super fascinating. So in your business world, in your personal world, you know, what is the one thing or the lesson that you’ve learned about achieving work life harmony?
Melissa
Well, what I would say is, it again goes back to figuring out what it is you really want. Because that’s the place when we figured out what we really want in that moment we got clear on it. We know, okay this is what I want. This is not what Susan wants, this is what I want. This is not what I’m supposed to want. But in getting clear on that I’m not chasing every single thing that’s out there in front of me. And I think that’s where, when I got clear on that, I could let go of, okay that’s something I really like. It’s something I’m supposed to want. But that’s not the part that appeals to me. And so when I get really clear on what appeals to me and what’s for me, then all the other stuff, that’s where the work life balance completely blows up because it’s something that I don’t want.
Susan
That’s such a good point. Such a good point, you know, when you’re making these choices, you know, you’ve said to me before that I become the keeper of my calendar. And what happens when you are the keeper of your calendar?
Melissa
The thing that I’ve come to recently is your calendar can either be profitable, or it can be a liability. It can either be an asset or it can be a liability. So how do you make your calendar part of your profitability is by keeping your calendar. By your structuring calendar systems that say, I meet with these type of people on these days, and I do this. In that way, you know, I can send my calendar out to anybody and know that they’re only getting into places on my calendar where I have deemed that that particular kind of media is going to be. Whether I’m excellent with clients in the morning or excellent with clients in the afternoon then that’s how I block the availability that people can get to my calendar. And then you send them a link and you say, here, here’s, what you need. And they get to pick something that works for them and it may be three weeks out. But I no longer have to be in that moment of like, I really want it you know, what, can I move around? How can I take away from what I’ve decided that I want in my life and give it to someone else outside of the balance that I’ve set. Not that I don’t ever do that. But by and large, here’s, here’s where I do this type of work. Whether it’s going out networking, or whether it’s working on my business. Those types of things are laid out in, in ways and here’s the link to the calendar. And this link might allow you access to Monday through Friday. This link may only allow you access Tuesday, Wednesday. This link may only access Friday. But that way I am now in control of my calendar. And I can make my calendar profitable. And in making the calendar profitable I’m working a lot less.
Susan
Yes. Oh my gosh, once again, I have goosebumps! And I’m thinking you know, I’ve never thought of my calendar in the term of profits and liabilities, right? I have always thought of my calendar in terms of calendar blocking, right? This is when I work and this is when I do this. I have my red things. You and I love colors and paper girl. Yes, we do. We love us some colors and some paper and we do use those colors. But thinking of it in terms of profitability and liability I love that. And I love how you’ve talked about here, using your calendar to bring that work life harmony, right? And you even mentioned, you know, there are times you have to step out, right? That’s kind of when you’re playing a different instrument, right. So for a measure in that score, you’re stepping out, but you know you’re gonna come back and be back into creating that harmony and I love that.
Melissa
It’s the exception rather than the rule. Because when we started off, it was always yes I’ll take you. I’ll do all the things right? All the things are not part of what I want. Yeah. And then it becomes the exception rather than the rule.
Susan
Exactly. I love that. I love that. So tell me, what do you do most days to make your radiant soul shine?
Melissa
I wake up without an alarm clock.
Susan
Oh yeah I love that.
Melissa
It is, when I started that. Again, it took the calendar first.
Susan
Right, okay.
Melissa
So now people aren’t on my calendar at 8 o’clock in the morning. Nine o’clock, ten o’clock somewhere there are my first appointments. Because if I set it, if I started at eight, I have to like, potentially set an alarm clock. And so that space of stepping gently into the morning. And okay great I’m going to wake up when I wake up. And then I’m going to just kind of ease into my day. And I’m not one of those with a rigid morning structure. Someone just asked me the other day, “what’s your morning routine?” And I’m like, routine implies that I do the same thing every day. So yeah, I probably don’t have one of those.
But again it’s waking up without an alarm clock, it’s easing into the day. Like this morning I listened to an audio book and made breakfast. You know and just kind of eased into the day because to me, that’s where my brain starts to really perk up. It’s that easing in I keep little note cards everywhere. So like, I have like little note cards everywhere. And that’s when you know, as I’m easing into the day, there may be like three note cards that get scribbled on. About…Oh, I need to… right. Oh, this would be a great idea. But when I’m rushed in the morning I don’t have that. This is the space where I just kind of get to like, oh, here’s the idea that comes to me. And I think that’s the space again, I’m getting clear on what is it that you want. I tried the miracle morning, like get up and journal for twenty minutes, and exercise for twenty minutes. And it was like, I was so stressed out.
Susan
It’s not for everybody.
Melissa
But this is where I got to see, when I do it the path that works for me. I’m not a cookie cutter. But I do it the path that works for me then I get really good results, I get the same results that someone whose path is the miracle morning. I get the same results. I’m just doing it differently. And I don’t have to be wrong or bad because I can’t get up at five o’clock in the morning. I mean I could get up at five o’clock in the morning but it’s not gonna happen. But it’s not my path. And I think that’s where we start to like, really be gentle with ourselves. I have nothing against somebody who does that. If that works for them, great. Yeah, and I think that’s where we got really into that second place of, oh my first part of life was all about following everybody else’s rules and regulations.
Susan
Right.
Melissa
Now I get to see what are my personal rules and regulations? What runs my life? What makes my life run well and I get to do that.
Susan
That’s just powerful. And there’s, there’s two things that come to my mind, Melissa, when I hear you say this is number one, you’ve given yourself permission to really be you. And in doing so you’re radiant, you’re able to fulfill your dreams or work towards your dreams, and you’re creating that life you love. And you’ve let go of comparison. That I no longer have to compare myself to someone else’s schedule or someone else’s work day. That you know, hey, this is what works for them but that’s not really what works for me. And I can create what I want, or dream about and do it my way. And I think, do you think when we are aligned like that – that is when the magic really happens?
Melissa It is because when I’m in that space, my creative juices are there. I feel good. I’m not grumbling because, she wants me to get up at five am what is this? I’m just a happier person. Just naturally flowing on being a happier person. The rest of the stuff comes. Everything else just begins to grow in that. And it’s like oh, well this is what it was meant to be.
Susan
Beautiful. Just love it. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this Melissa. I have gleaned some real golden nuggets today. I have learned or will now think of my calendar as profits and liabilities correct. And you’ve helped me to remember to create the life I want. Don’t worry, don’t compare it to somebody else’s. Use my calendar to create the life I love. So I’ve got one question left for you. But before we get there, I know that you brought something for our listeners, a freebie. And I want you to tell us about that and also let us know how can the listeners connect with you.
Melissa
So MasterYourMoneynNow.com, easiest way to find me. Easiest way to get on my calendar. MasterYourMoneynNow.com and you can find all sorts of things there. You can find the financial power checklist, super wonderful freebie to get an idea of what’s your relationship with money, what’s going on there both business and personal, right. And you can also grab the profitable calendar checklist there. Which is a great way to look at what am I doing my calendar and is my calendar leading me to where I want to go. So it is, it’s a great – MasterYourMoneynNow.com is the easiest resource to find all sorts of different information that you need about money, your calendar, all the good stuff.
Susan
That sounds fabulous and we will have that in the show notes as well. So if this episode has you thinking about how to put yourself first while living out your purpose, and having work life harmony, be sure to connect with me on all the socials at Susancrewsco.com is the website socials are @SusanCrews. Or reach out to me for a time to chat. If you like the energy that we bring to you. Connect with me for coaching or scheduling for an upcoming talk. Melissa, I’ve learned so much from you today. And I think I’m gonna put some things into place. When I think about my profitable calendar, I’m going to your website, and I’m going to get that link and check it out because I know I can learn something there. But if we have someone listening today, what is that one thing, that biggest tip or piece of advice that you would share with that woman today?
Melissa
I would say get clear on what it is. Everything else flows out of you know, this is the dream for my life. Everything else flows out of that. Because there’s nothing worse than the old thing of like chasing the dream and realizing you climbed the wrong mountain. Chasing, you know chasing after something, and realizing that wasn’t what I actually wanted. So taking the time to get to know what I want. And it’s not any easy thing Most people don’t understand or have any clue about what it is that they actually want. But taking that time to get to know what it is that they want and then diving full in.
Susan
Right. I love that. I love that. Thank you. Melissa I have enjoyed this so much. And listeners if this episode has you thinking about how to put yourself first while living out your purpose in creating work life harmony. Be sure to connect with me on all my socials @SusanCrewsCo. Or reach out for a time to chat at SusanCrewsCo.com.
